SCP-147 - Anachronistic Television
What he saw while seated in front of SCP-147 he would later describe as "a bizarre episode of ‘I Love Lucy’ featuring a surprising amount of gunplay."
SCP-145 - Man-Absorbing Phone
In the background, the listener will hear sounds of violence and expressions of pain and anguish.
SCP-122 - no more monstɘrs
“Last night, there was a beautiful angel with wings and he was standing there, and he was looking at me… by the door! He did that alllll night!”
SCP-119 - Timecrowave
At power level 5, with an input of 999 seconds, the microwave will run for 999 seconds, and the contents will have aged… 31,529,964 years.
SCP-4252 - Beans and Betrayal
Jethusent the Mighty King / Please bless our presence with your own / Consume our Bubbling Beanous Bile / From up atop your sparkling throne
SCP-1-800-J - LIMITED TIME OFFER
No stains! No mess! No permanent physical or mental trauma!
SCP-145-J - Another Shitty Day at Work
Object Class: Safe. It should be neutralized, but the Site Director's too goddamn cheap to buy a new one.
SCP-086 - The Office of Dr. [REDACTED]
“Although we appreciate SCP-086's conscientiousness, there is at this time no pressing reason to classify it as "Euclid". If circumstances change, we'll reconsider.”