SCP-8851-J - Super Cheap Procedures
Foundation members are to beg the Humanity Preservation Association for further funding through mail, e-mail, real life harassment, phone calls, telegrams, and anomalous voodoo dolls.
SCP-5150-J - Think Of The Children
At this point, it's probably for the better that we just don't let anyone outside until we know SCP-5150-J has been eradicated.
SCP-1-800-J - LIMITED TIME OFFER
No stains! No mess! No permanent physical or mental trauma!
SCP-145-J - Another Shitty Day at Work
Object Class: Safe. It should be neutralized, but the Site Director's too goddamn cheap to buy a new one.
SCP-018-J - Normal Trench Coat Worn By An Adult
… As expected, the D-Class personnel were distracted from their escape by the prospect of viewing an R-rated movie.
SCP-329-J - The Ghoooost Siiiign
“I am the ghoooost siiiign! Yield to oncoming traffiiic! Ooooooh!”
SCP-1D6-J - Gygax’s Folly
Object Class: On a 1: Safe; 2: Euclid; 3: Keter; 4: Safe, later promoted to Euclid once it exploded a guy's eyeballs; 5: Safe, later promoted to Keter once it exploded ten guys' eyeballs; 6: Double Keter.
SCP-649-2568-J - Technicolor Geography
SCP 649-2568 has shown a capacity to reshape any geological features it sees, or has heard described. These reshaping events exclusively affect any features the entity deems as "too flat".
SCP-100000-J - Procedure 110-Overkill
The outer sarcophagus must, at all times, receive broadcasts… [of] live monologues of how awful SCP-100000-J is and why it will never, ever escape, destroy humanity, or find true love.
SCP-1322-J - A Whole New World
Barnes attempts to enter the anomaly for 23 minutes, but is blocked by SCP-1322-J-1-Barnes. Testing ends after SCP-1322-J-1-Barnes becomes aggressive.
SCP-885-J - Researcher Jacobs’ Inability To Clean Up After Himself
Investigations into how an actual human being could live like that are ongoing.
![SCP-6327-J - [redacted for brevity]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec85e2d4c483c5e7cb97193/1677121541297-LFWH50V3ICXE2H2BQYCO/Joke+Series+%28website%29+%282023+update%29.png)
SCP-6327-J - [redacted for brevity]
“There is a current and present emergency, and I am about to describe it. Please listen carefully, as this will contain important information.”
SCP-1162-J - “Double Down Sandwich”
In the case of containment compromise, full nuclear sterilization is considered automatically authorized.
PILOT EPISODE: “SCP-080 - Dark Form”
Recorded March 2019 as a proof of concept for a potential series of other readings from the SCP Foundation. This podcast is the result.
SCP-\̅\̅\̅\̅-J - The Subject is Aware
This entry was generated by loading 3000+ SCPs into the Botnik predictive keyboard app.
SCP-1543-J - The Sun Launcher
Painted on the side is the motto, in large capital letters, “When in doubt, launch into the sun” (which some feel can never match the flair of the SCP’s old creed, “Into the fiery orb with ye”).
SCP-004-J - Stan from Accounting
SCP-106 appeared rapt with attention, materialized a business card and agreed to join SCP-004-J for a "lunch and learn" at his soonest convenience.