SCP-930-J - You little rascal!
SCP-930-J is a cute little ball of assorted tentacles and mouths, isn't it? I named it Daniel!
SPC-1057-J - Absence of Punchable Shark
“We will continue our innovations in Fist Integrated Stimulation Technology until SPC-1057 receives the right hook it deserves.”
SCP-1914-J - Silencing Piano
…objects such as vaults or pianos will generally fall from ropes or windowsills, in spite of no plans for said objects to be moved.
SPC-3284-J - Lava Sharks
Mobile Fist Team Sigma-6 ("Flaming Fists of Fury") are to be included in all 3284-related operations.
SCP-078-J - Cooties
Although the properties of SCP-078-J are not fully understood, it is well known for causing various cases of yuckiness, bad smells, and immediate death.
SCP-5040-J - Stripèd Gangs
"Major Mime-11 has been lost, and with him nearly the entire North American supply of white gloves and black berets."
SCP-2558-J - Pufferkittens
Several varieties have been observed, including long-haired, hypoallergenic, grenade (see Addendum), and bouncy.
SCP-3333-J - Angsty Teenage Plant
SCP-3333-J apparently grows better when listening to songs by My Chemical Romance. It is allowed to do so as long as the volume is set to a reasonable level.
SCP-123-J - Amazing Butter-like Substance!
When informed that the substance is not organic butter, subjects typically report disbelief.
SCP-106-J - The Barbecue Man
SCP-106-J is capable of vanishing into stoves or ovens, entering what seems to be a kind of “cookout dimension”.
SCP-19316-J - Improper Terminology
Evelyn's pork chops are to be kept in a sealed plastic container in the 5th Floor Break Room's refrigerator.
SCP-9119-J - Horrid Little Gustav
SCP-9119-J is to be lockey-locked away in a standard Bad Little Hideous Person Cage for all of eternity.
SCP-543-J - Tweedle Beetles
In the event of an XK-Tweetle-Beetle-Battle-Breaching-Bottle Situation, MTF Epsilon-11 ("Nine-Tailed Fox in Socks") will be deployed to recontain all specimens…