SCP-TTKU-J - A Thing That Kills You
CLEARANCE GRANTED… WELCOME, AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL…
SCRIPT BASED ON ORIGINAL ENTRY BY daveyoufool [CC BY-SA 3.0].
The voice of the Database was provided by Joshua Alan Lindsay.
The voice of Dr. Henderson was provided by Christian Jasper.
The voice of SCP-TTKU-J was provided by Romeo Rosales, Jr.
Intro by Dudddles and Dee McGann.
NOTICE: LEVEL 2 CLEARANCE REQUIRED!
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Item #: SCP-TTKU-J
Object Class: Keter, because it can and will kill you
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-TTKU-J is contained in a reinforced standard containment cell at Area-0000 - far away from you, whom it wants to kill. Due to the fact that SCP-TTKU-J is a very dangerous thing that desires to and has the means to kill you, SCP-TTKU-J is not to be handled by you specifically. This containment method would render you effectively immortal as far as SCP-TTKU-J's killing-you objective is concerned.
Description: SCP-TTKU-J is a thing that kills you. Though murder is an illegal action in every national jurisdiction on Earth, condemned in most religious scriptures, and generally looked down upon, SCP-TTKU-J as an entity has no regard for any rule against killing you and has the means to do so in multiple ways - including, but not limited to:
Use of a weapon to kill you,
Use of a torture device to torture you, then kill you,
Use of its own bare [REDACTED]s to kill you,
Enlisting the aid of different thing that kills you as a means to kill you,
Killing you until your life functions cease, then continuing to kill you,
Giving you a hug Use of anomalous means to kill you, and
[DATA EXPUNGED] ██ ████ you.
In the event of a total containment breach of SCP-TTKU-J, the inevitable result would be a URK-class you-are-about-to-be-killed event, followed by a UHK-class you-have-been-killed scenario. As you are, presumably, a thing that should not be killed, the latter scenario is to be avoided at all costs.
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Addendum 1 - Interview with SCP-TTKU-J, 2/23/15:
<BEGIN LOG>
DR. HENDERSON: Good morning, SCP-TTKU-J, I hope you're doing well.
SCP-TTKU-J: Eh, could be better. Right now, all I can think about is how much I want to kill you in many different ways.
DR. HENDERSON: You know we can't allow you to do that.
SCP-TTKU-J: I figured as much. Still, it would be very nice if you'd let me stick a shiv into your ribcage right this very minute, until your heart stops.
DR. HENDERSON: Believe me, I've felt the same way many times.
SCP-TTKU-J: About yourself?
DR. HENDERSON: Not quite.
SCP-TTKU-J: Man, I could go for some good ol'-fashioned you-murder right about now.
DR. HENDERSON: Isn't there anything else you think about?
(Brief pause)
SCP-TTKU-J: I want to take up knitting.
DR. HENDERSON: That's harmless enough.
SCP-TTKU-J: Because I could lure you into a false sense of security, then, when you least expect it, BAM! One knitting needle in each eye, as I tear out your heart with my teeth!
DR. HENDERSON: This conversation is going nowhere.
SCP-TTKU-J: Obviously not! We haven't murdered you yet!
DR. HENDERSON: If you hypothetically could kill me, what do you intend to do afterwards?
SCP-TTKU-J: Hmm… I kinda want to start a grindcore outfit.DR. HENDERSON: …Okay. What would it be called?
SCP-TTKU-J: "Pile of Dead You."
DR. HENDERSON: We're done here.
<END LOG>
